I was upset at her. She didn’t want to lie down and go to sleep. She kept crying and wanted to be held. I gave her some Tylenol and sat up with her until after 11. I propped up one end of her mattress so that she could breathe more easily. Several times through the night, every hour or so she woke up crying and coughing. It isn’t Eliana’s fault that she has a cold. Fast forward to this morning, first there was her runny nose that I had to wipe constantly because otherwise she smears snot it all over her face. To top things off she was playing with a toy spoon, fell onto me, and gagged herself and threw up on me. Thankfully she missed the couch. I went to change. I hadn’t realized that she had thrown up on her shirt and now she had a mess on her face and a little in her hair. After we were both cleaned up she climbed up into my lap and fell asleep.
As I write this she’s asleep in my lap and I’m processing what has happened. Eliana can’t help herself. She’s only a child. We are God’s children. We can’t help ourselves either. We’re all a sick and needy mess. We cry and want someone to hold us. We can’t seem to stop making a mess of own lives. While we are making a mess of our life we share the mess and the misery with others bringing them down as well. When we go to the Father we find the help that we need. Our father will clean us up and pick us up and give us a fresh start. When we climb into our Father’s lap we can find rest. The Father’s love is what we need. So many times in my life I try to make things better by myself. I want to be a better wife, a better mother, a better person. When I try to do things on my own I almost always find that I fail. I need help. We all need help!