I should be taking a nap as I write this, but I have too much on my mind to go to sleep. That and the fact that Joshua is refusing to go take a nap, because in a very whiny voice he keeps insisting, “I’m not tired. I want to whine right along with him and say, “I am very tired!”
One would think that I’d only be up with Isabel at night. She’s only a very small part of my battle right now. At four and a half months old, she’s still nursing exclusively so she will sleep for a 5-6 hour stretch, wake up to eat, and go right back to sleep again. It is very normal for nursing babies to get up once a night.
Andy just turned five and the other day I woke up to find the bedroom door open and the t.v. on. He was watching cartoons! At 4 in the morning! I told him to turn off the t.v. and go back to bed! He did without saying a word. A little while later when Eliana woke up crying, Joshua was not to be found in his bed! When I stepped into the hallway I found Joshua sitting up but fast asleep on the couch. He and Andy had both been awake before 4 a.m. Later when I asked Andy why he didn’t tell me that Joshua was awake too he calmly replied, “Because I didn’t want to.”
Almost every night at least once a night Eliana wakes up crying and yelling. Sometimes she is still asleep and other times she wakes up begging me to hold her. I’m guessing that she is having night terrors or she fights going through the different stages of sleep. When Eliana starts crying I am almost always sure she is going to wake everyone in the house. Thankfully, it seems the only one she wakes up is me.
Last night was an example of a typical night. Eliana was crying and yelling at 9:40 p.m., but this time she was crying in her sleep. Around 10:30, I jumped out of bed when someone yelled “Mommy!” I opened my eyes to find Joshua standing with his face right next to mine! When I asked him what was wrong he said very sadly, “I can’t sleep.” He was running a fever, so I gave him some ibuprofen. He had scared me so much that it took forever for me to go back to sleep. Then Isabel woke up around 4:30 a.m. She nursed and went right back to sleep. No big deal right? Wrong! When I tried to go back to sleep couldn’t. I got up, poured myself a cup of juice, got on my computer, laid back down, couldn’t sleep, then got up again. It was 6 a.m before I laid back down again. It seemed like I had just dozed off when I heard James say my name. Our niece’s car wouldn’t start. I had to get up to make sure the nephews got on the bus so he could go and take the niece and nephew to school. He asked if the kids had gotten up during the night. I told him that they had and he apologized for having to wake me up. “It’s okay,” I told him. It wasn’t his fault.
So here I sit, I can feel my eyelids drooping, and I am wondering when will I ever get a good night’s sleep again. I am hoping and praying that maybe tonight will be better.