I missed an early morning phone call from my Dad and when I called him back he asked if he could call me back. My heart sank and I felt a knot in the pit of my stomach. I sat and waited for the call instead of going about my routine of starting Bible Study for school. The girls were busy playing with dust particles in the morning sunlight that was streaming in from the living room window. The dust was transformed from dirt into something very beautiful as it floated through the sunbeam. God makes all things beautiful. My Dad called back and said that my Grandma had passed away. I knew he was going to say that. The day turned dreary and gloomy after that and it even rained all day.
Life doesn’t stop when you find out someone you love has passed away. I don’t remember doing much these past few days. The kids are alive and fed and they are wearing clean clothes. Our routines have been more laid back. I am trying to take it easy, but I have seven little people who are depending on me. They take turns snuggling with me. They have given me hugs and kisses. They have sung to me. Miss E keeps singing, “I’ll Fly Away.” We had a few partial days of school.
My Grandma loved the sunlight. She loved praising God and singing, “This Is The Day that the Lord has Made.” During prayer request and praise time at church she would always say that she wanted to thank God, for what He had already done and for what He was going to do.” Her faith was faith of expectation. She loved her family fiercely and I hope that I love my family as much as she loved hers.
Losing my Grandma has been one of the hardest things I have ever gone through. I am sad and my heart hurts because of how much I am going to miss her, but I know that her legacy, and especially her legacy of faith will live on in me and in my children. The kids have seen my sorrow but they are also going to see my joy because I know that my Grandma isn’t truly dead, but she is alive with Jesus right now. Joy in the midst of sorrow is a wondrous and awesome thing.